


Live Through This

by something_from_nothing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Coming Out, Drunk Sex, F/M, First Date, First Meeting, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Top Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:36:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3814174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/something_from_nothing/pseuds/something_from_nothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel meet at the laundromat and meet up later at the local bar--cute stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Laundromat

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever put out for people to read so please be kind--but any feedback or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, and enjoy!

Dean grunted as he threw the sack of dirty laundry over his shoulder. It was his turn to wash the clothes while Sam looked for the next destination on their road trip. They'd been sleeping in the car instead of a motel for a week in an attempt to save some cash. As he turned the corner of the block he ran into a young man. The man dropped his laundry basket and quickly scrambled to gather his belongings. Dean knelt over to help him.

"Hey I'm sorry, man. I didn't see you there." 

"No no, it's my fault. I should have watched where I was going." 

He gazed up at Dean who quickly looked away and blushed when he caught a glimpse of the man's crystal blue eyes. The man noticed Dean's red cheeks almost immediately and chuckled to himself.

"I'm Cas." He said as he leaned his laundry basket onto one hip and extended his free hand.

"Dean." He gave an aggressive hand shake to show that he wasn't as soft as he may have appeared.

Dean squinted his eyes as the sun shined directly into them, causing a vast array of greens, browns and golds to explode from his iris'. He reached around Cas to grab the door to the laundromat and held it open as they both shuffled inside. Cas immediately began to separate the colors from the whites while Dean tossed half of his load of clothes into one of the two empty washing machines and left the rest on the counter, leaving one machine for Cas to use.

The laundromat was somewhat empty. Everyone had thrown their clothes in the wash and left without a second thought. Dean pulled out his wallet as he crossed the room, removed a five dollar bill and flattened it against the counter before sliding it into the coin machine. Dean leaned over to scoop up the quarters--all the while Cas was watching him. He admired the various curves of his body and the way he moved across the room.

Dean cleared his throat, "Hey uh, could I borrow some of your detergent? I always forget to bring some with me."

Cas smiled as he pushed the bottles of detergent and softener across the counter. Dean filled up the caps and dumped them into the slots of the machine then returned them to their spots on the counter.

"Thanks." Dean said nervously. Cas acknowledged him with a wink and a half smile, which made the hairs on Dean's arm stand up.  
He couldn't explain it, sure he'd found men attractive but there was something so...stunning about this guy. His presence alone was giving Dean goosebumps. Cas could feel Dean's eyes on him as he sorted his clothes.

As time passed Dean and Cas attempted to get to know each other better. Dean sat in the chair beside the counter while Cas sat on top of the counter with his back propped up against the wall and his hands holding up his right knee.

“So it’s just you and your brother then? Just driving across the country?”

“Yeah, pretty much. We get to visit family friends along the way which is cool, but honestly I kind of dig the brother bonding time. We didn’t really get along for a while because he was away at school and I was at home taking care of the family business with our dad.”

“Well it’s great that you two are happy now. I don’t really see much of my siblings anymore. I left home a long time ago after I came out to them, it wasn’t that they weren’t supportive or anything. I just felt like I needed to go out and do my own thing for a while.”

“I...never told anyone that I’m… you know,” Dean choked out, “In fact I think you might be the first person I’ve told...My dad passed before I had the courage, and I don’t think he would have handled it well. And my brother, well, it just never came up I guess.”

They continued talking as they folded their laundry on the counter. Dean noticed the briefs in Cas’ pile of laundry and imagined what Cas would look like wearing only them. Cas was damn near thinking the same thing about Dean the entire time they were doing laundry. He’d never seen someone so gorgeous in his whole life and the fact that he was a softy underneath that tough exterior made him even sexier. He seemed so innocent underneath it all.

They laughed and joked around while the remainder of their clothes dried. They were surprised how easy it was to become so attracted to someone all within a few short hours.

“Listen, I’m going to be in town for another few days if you maybe want to hang out again?” Dean asked, Cas nodded eagerly at the suggestion and reached for his phone so Dean could put his number in it.

“Maybe we could go out for drinks later?” Cas asked as Dean put the last of his clothes in his bag and threw it over his shoulder. In an attempt to be suave he walked towards the door nudged it open with his back side and flashed a half smile accompanied by a wink before letting the door close behind him.

As he walked down the street he nearly began hyperventilating. This wasn’t much like his experiences with girls, he’d never felt so nervous in his entire life--but he loved it. Dean’s chest was bursting with promise as he pondered the possible events that could occur later that night.


	2. The Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas go out for drinks, and things get kinda hot.

Upon Dean’s return to the impala, parked on a near abandoned street, Sam was nowhere to be found. A note on the dashboard told him that Sam had met someone and not to wait up for him.

“Sweet,” Dean said, “even Sammy is getting some tonight.” He laughed sarcastically at the idea that he could ever get the courage to so much as kiss Cas, let alone get in his pants. And as much as he enjoyed the thought of getting into bed with Cas, he didn’t particularly care to make this another one night stand like the ones he’d had on the road.

Dean changed into a clean black t shirt followed by a flannel, still warm from the dryer. Cas’ smell was all over it--well the smell of Cas’ laundry detergent anyway. He sat for a moment, lingering on the enticing smell of...what was this...lavender and...honey? Whatever. He let the smell fill his lungs as he built up the confidence to go out with Cas.

He sat inside the driver’s side of the impala and turned the radio up as loud as it would go, he closed his eyes and bobbed his head as Eye of The Tiger blared through the speakers. He tapped the steering wheel with his hands, letting the beat of Survivor regulate his breathing and balance out his anxieties about this evening. When the song ended, Dean smiled to himself and turned the radio down.

He pulled out his phone and texted Cas,

_So where we going?_

Moments later Dean’s phone vibrated on his lap,

_There’s a place called The Village over on 8th. I haven’t been there before but friends of mine have._

Dean recalled seeing the bar on the drive in, it was small and unextraordinary. It was familiar to him, like most bars. It wasn’t far, he could walk there.

_Sounds like a plan._ _15 minutes too soon for you?_

_15 minutes is perfect, see ya there._

Dean breathed a sigh of relief, the sooner he got to see Cas the less time he would have to sit and stew over what he would be doing that night. He was better off being impulsive, there isn’t nearly as much anxiety in impulse.

15 minutes later exactly, Dean arrived at The Village. He slowly opened the door and peered inside, Cas was sitting at the bar with two beers in front of him. He turned and waved Dean over with a bright smile on his face.

Dean took the second beer from Cas and took a swig from it. The Village appeared to be a pretty popular place, the sun was just setting and people were getting out of work and ready to have a drink and unwind, hopeful that they would meet someone new to spend the night with.

“So how’ve you been enjoying your time here?” Cas asked.

“I’ve only been here for a little over a day, I haven’t done much yet but from what I’ve seen this seems like a really cool place. Cool people, cool bars, cool.” Dean was getting nervous again.

“Well maybe I can show you around. I’ve been here for a while and I know what’s worth seeing.” He said with a half smile.

About 7 beers, 4 shots of whiskey (each), and copious amounts of flirting later, Cas rose to his feet.

“I’m going outside for a cigarette break, you coming?”

“Sure, but I don’t smoke.” Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and put his mouth up against his ear,

“Neither do I.” He pulled away and smiled at Dean as he walked towards the front door.

Dean tossed few bills on the counter and let Cas guide him outside with wide eyes. They walked down the lamp-lit street and found themselves entering a narrow and dim alleyway.

Dean pressed his back against one brick wall while Cas was against the other. The whiskey was swirling around in Dean’s head and he wasn’t very capable of controlling his thoughts or his body anymore. He propelled his body off of the wall and pulled Cas into a passionate kiss. Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair while Cas groped helplessly at Dean’s ass. Dean pulled his mouth away from Cas’ for a moment while Cas latched onto his neck, kissing aggressively up to his chin just before plunging back into Dean’s mouth.

At the opening of the alleyway a group of bar hoppers passed by whistling and cheering as the two men tore at each other ravenously. Dean nearly let out a growl as Cas took his hair in both hands and pulled him away.

Breathing heavily, Cas said, “We should get out of here, we can go back to my place.”

Dean was trembling, unable to form words. He closed his eyes and clenched them tight before nodding.

Cas led him out of the alley and back onto the sidewalk.

“Hold up, I’m a bit more drunk than I thought,” Cas lied, “ walking is going to be a bit of a challenge.”

Dean smiled and turned his back, hunching over slightly, “Hop on.”

They both laughed as Cas slowly climbed onto Dean’s back and wrapped his arms around his chest while Dean linked his arms beneath Cas’ legs.

Between giving directions back to Cas’ place, he kissed Dean’s neck softly, causing Dean to pick up his pace.

Dean’s mind was racing to a million different places at once, and yet he felt completely at ease. He had a gorgeous man on his back and even though they’d only met just hours before, Dean felt as though they’d been together for the longest time. He no longer felt any pressure to be anything or anyone other than who he was. He felt like himself, and he wanted nothing more than to give himself to Cas.


	3. Right At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas spend the night together ;)

Cas held onto Dean as tightly as he could without injuring him. Dean climbed the steps to Cas’ apartment building for the both of them. When they reached his door Cas removed his keys from his pocket and placed them into Dean’s hand then regained his hold on Dean’s shoulders. Dean snickered as he pushed open the door to the clean and pale colored apartment. 

Cas slowly slid down from Dean’s back and trailed his hand down Dean’s arm. He placed his hands on the inside of Dean’s flannel and kissed him softly as he pushed the top layer of clothing away. Cas kissed along his jawline and up to his ear where he stopped abruptly.

“I’ll race you to the bedroom.” Cas laughed playfully before darting down the hallway. 

A grin stretched across Dean’s face as he chased after him. 

Cas entered his bedroom and stopped at the foot of his bed, he turned quickly only to be tackled into the sheets by Dean. He began kissing Cas as hard as he could on any piece of exposed skin he could find. They pulled off the remainder of their clothes and rubbed against each other almost until it hurt. 

They stopped kissing only for a moment, to look at each other, to allow themselves to reconnect with each other. All of the golden flecks were shining out of Dean’s eyes, they were almost blinding. Again, Dean began trembling. He couldn’t restrain himself anymore, he needed Cas more than he could stand.

Cas pushed Dean over and rolled on top of him, kissing his chest and grinding their hips together. He leaned over to the bedside table and pulled a condom and a bottle of lube from the drawer. He kissed a trail down Dean’s chest before tearing open the small package and unrolling the condom onto Dean. He squeezed the lube onto the tip of Dean’s throbbing erection and began pumping vigorously.

Dean gasped and felt around for something to grab hold of. His moans grew louder and more out of control. Cas silenced him with a powerful kiss, nearly sending Dean over the edge. Cas squeezed more lube onto his fingers and began working two of them inside of himself. He fingered his prostate and jolted against Dean who was having body spasms of his own.

Cas pushed one more finger inside to stretch himself a bit more before looking up at Dean with glassy eyes.

“Are you ready?” Cas gasped before kissing Dean once more.

Dean nodded and placed his hands on Cas’ hips. They looked into each other’s eyes a Cas removed his fingers and lowered himself onto Dean. He slid inside carefully, this sensation was unlike anything he’d felt before. Dean slowly thrusted upward into Cas, letting out soft gasps with each thrust. They held onto each other for fear of drifting away from each other for even a moment.   
Cas ignored the slight sting and leaned over, taking Dean’s face into his hands and pushing his tongue into his mouth. It felt almost as if electricity was surging between both of their bodies. Cas took all of Dean inside of him as they quickened their pace. Dean wrapped his hand around Cas’ neglected erection and pumped it up and down, sending a wave of tingles through Cas’ body. 

Cas pushed his hands beneath Dean and lifted him into an upright position, then proceeded to dig his nails into Dean’s back, nearly drawing blood. Dean closed his eyes and buried his face into Cas’ chest before kissing his collarbones gently.

Dean shuddered and forced his eyes open so he could look at Cas as they both came hard. They collapsed onto the bed, Cas rested on top of Dean’s chest which was rising and falling at an almost alarming pace. 

“Are you alright?” Cas asked with a smile.

“Never better.” Dean said before planting a kiss on Cas’ mouth.

Cas reached over to the bedside table to grab a box of tissues to clean the mess off of his and Dean’s chest and to wrap up the used condom.

They spent the remainder of the night intertwined in Cas’ bed. They talked about everything, Dean’s life while Sam was away, Cas’ life before he came out to his family as well as his life since then. They discussed their failures and their triumphs, their past loves, their favorite things as well as the things they despised more than anything. 

Dean watched as Cas fell asleep in his arms. His face softened and he let out light whimpers with each breath. Dean smiled and soon followed Cas into a deep sleep.

Dean awoke in a gnarled pile of blankets and sheets, alone. His hair was matted down and he had some dry drool on his chin. He might have looked like a mess but he hadn’t slept so well in years. 

He pulled on his briefs and stumbled into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face before entering the kitchen. 

Cas stood in front of the stove flipping pieces of french toast in a pan. He was wearing Dean’s t shirt...nothing made him crazier. 

Dean walked up behind him and put his arms around Cas and kissed his neck. 

“Morning, gorgeous,” Cas said looking over his shoulder and kissing Dean on the nose. Dean smiled and squeezed Cas tight, burying his face in his back.

They ate breakfast together and went back to the bedroom to get dressed, poking at each other and kissing the entire time. Once dressed, Dean realized he should probably get back to Sam. He never told him he was going out.

“Walk me home?” Dean laughed. 

The impala was his home, it had been for a long time. He hadn’t even been in an actual house (except for Cas’) since he had to sell their failing family business and the family home--all of which he mentioned to Cas the night before. He didn’t feel like he needed to hide anything from him, he probably couldn’t even if he wanted to. But the thing is, he felt like he was home when he was with Cas. He felt just as at home with him as he did whenever he was driving around with his brother. 

They swung their tangled hands between them as they left the apartment building and walked down the street. 

The impala was just as Dean had left it, still empty except for the bag of laundry. He turned and sat on the hood, spreading his legs and placing his hands on Cas’ hips and pulling him close. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and pulled him into a kiss. 

“I’d...like to see you again...before I go. If that’s okay.” Dean said.

“If that’s okay?” Cas laughed, “Of course it’s okay, I’d love to see you again.”

Dean was relieved, he was nervous that this might have been a “hit it and quit it” situation for Cas. He placed his hand on Cas’ cheek and stroked it gently.

“I had an amazing time, Dean. You were beautiful.” 

Dean was speechless, he’d never had anyone say things like this to him before.

Cas took the silence as his cue to head back to his apartment, he kissed Dean one last time and pressed their foreheads together. When Cas turned away to leave, Dean grabbed his hand.

“Wait...You don’t have to go yet, do you?” 

Cas winked at him and smiled, “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other later. I promise.”


	4. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes out to Sam :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had quite a bit of trouble writing this chapter, (a lot of writer's block). I was being drawn in a lot of different directions especially when it came to writing Sam into the fic--but I did my best with it and I hope you enjoy it anyway (:

Dean remained on the hood of the Impala until Cas was completely out of sight. He questioned whether it would be right to continue pursuing Cas, considering he would be leaving in a few short days--not to mention he had Sam to worry about. Sam had no idea that Dean even looked at men that way, and if he decided to speak up about it now there was no telling how Sam would react. Dean was torn, he felt like he owed it to himself to feel at peace with this, to tell Sam everything and hope that he’d understand, and to see where things went with Cas. He felt more comfortable with Cas than any other person he’d ever been with, and he didn’t think that was something that he should risk losing. 

He glanced at his watch, it was just past 9 and he still hadn’t heard from Sam. He pulled out his phone and decided to check in. The phone rang twice before Sam’s voice came over the other end.

“Hello?” Sam muttered in a sleepy voice.

“Hey buddy, haven’t heard from you so I thought I’d check in. This girl you met must really be something, huh?”

“Yeah...listen, would you mind picking me up? We have some things we need to talk about.” Sam’s voice got quieter as he spoke. 

“Uhh yeah...Just text me the address and I’ll be there in a bit.” As Dean hung up he felt unsure of what to make of his brother’s tone. He sounded kind of concerned, but what about? It’s not like he could have known something about Cas and Dean, right?

Moments later Dean’s phone vibrated in his hand and he read the address of Sam’s new girl’s address to himself. He slid into the impala and put the keys in the ignition. He wasn’t quite sure how the next hour was going to go, but he had the drive to at least build a game plan for coming out to Sam. He took a deep breath and pulled out of his spot on the empty road.

How many possible ways could there be to go about this? Hey Sam I think I’m gay? Or at least bisexual? I slept with a guy last night and I really enjoyed myself and I’d like to give myself a chance to explore all of this? Sam I like dudes. Christ, why did this have to be so difficult. He didn’t know if he should go all in or just break things to Sam as easily as possible. Sam was a big boy, right? He could handle hearing this.

A few stop signs and pep talks later Dean arrived outside of a small and kitschy house. It looked like the type of place you’d raise a family, and it was. As the front door opened two small dogs darted outside and headed straight for the impala. They leaped up at the door barking and scratching. Dean let out an almost inhuman noise, he loved animals for sure but if they scratched Baby in the slightest he’d--

A young boy came running out the front door after the dogs. He couldn’t have been older than 7. He scooped up the dogs under each arm. 

“Sorry!” He laughed, flashing a smile that was missing more than a few teeth and dimples that could suck the soul right out of someone’s body.

Dean smiled as the boy tried to lug the dogs back into the house. Sam squeezed past him and pat him on the head as he said goodbye. He B lined towards the car and the smile on his face quickly faded to a look of anxiety. His body stiffened as he got in the car, he avoided eye contact with Dean for nearly a minute before they pulled away from the house.

Dean was the first to break the painful silence between them.

“So what did you want to talk about, Sammy?”

“You’re going to think I’m crazy, and you’re probably going to be pretty pissed at me…”

“What is it?”

“I was thinking...maybe we could stick around here for a while.” Sam almost flinched, thinking he was going to get smacked in the head for interfering with their plans.

“Because of that girl?” 

“I can’t explain it really. Her name is Sarah and she’s really great and I don’t think I would forgive myself if I didn’t give this a chance you know? I haven’t had anything like this in a while.” 

Dean relaxed for a moment, at least he had an excuse to stick around for a bit. But he still felt like he needed to tell Sam what was going on with him.

“I’m happy for ya, Sammy. To be honest I was kind of hoping there would be a reason for us to stick around. I uhh... I met someone too.” Dean was starting to stammer. All his practice on the way to pick up Sam didn’t really relieve any of the panic he was feeling.

“Really? That’s great! She’s more than just a booty call I take it?” Sam laughed.

“That’s the thing man...He’s not a she…” Dean began to shrink in his seat, terrified of what his brother would say.

After a moment of silence Sam spoke up.

“A guy...okay so what’s his name? Where did you meet him?” He spoke calmly, almost expectantly.

“Uhh, his name is Cas, and I met him at the laundromat yesterday…And I’ve had a great time hanging out with him, this is the most at home I’ve felt in a long time which is why I’m glad you want to hang out around here for a little while longer, I really want to see where this goes. And from what you’ve said, you’re in the exact same boat.” Dean began to relax, clearly Sam wasn’t pissed at him, or he would have shown it a hell of a lot sooner.

“Wow Dean, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like this.” 

“Yeah, he brings out a side of me that hasn’t really been out in the open.” Dean laughed nervously.

“Well if you’re happy, then I’m happy. I’d like to meet him some time.”

Dean nodded and they left the conversation at that, it went a lot smoother than he thought it would and he didn’t want to push the situation any more than that. They drove back to their spot on the empty stretch of road and parked. Sam retrieved a clean set of clothes from the laundry bag and strained to change in the back seat of the impala. 

Dean was struggling. It had only been an hour or two since he’d been with Cas and he was already itching to see him again. Cas was addictive, and Dean had very poor self control. He was back and forth with himself trying to decide whether he should call him up already or if he should give him some time alone. He felt restless, he was so unsure of what to do with himself without Cas and he even began to question what he had been doing before he met him.

To take the edge off of things Dean decided to take a nap, let some time pass and hopefully later he’d work up the nerve to call Cas. He rested in the back seat of the impala while Sam was up front perusing the stack of maps they had in the glove box.

Dean fell into a deep sleep rather quickly. And of course his dreams were all about Cas.

They were laying on a loveseat in their own home watching cartoons. Still in their pajamas with messy hair. Cas rested his head against Dean’s chest and traced the muscles of Dean’s arms with his finger. The sunlight was shining through the windows and warming them both. Everything was dead silent except for the sound of their breathing. Dean could vividly see specks of dust floating slowly through the air. 

Suddenly they were at a large dining room table, Dean was at the head of it with Cas on his left and Sam on his right. Sam had his girl Sarah and her little boy beside him. Their parents were there, happy and smiling. They were all laughing and yelling and having the time of their lives. Everything was exactly how Dean felt it should be. 

He slowly opened his eyes, he was back in the impala. He knew they had to stay. He knew that they both deserved a life as good as the one he dreamt of.


	5. Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Cas, Sam and Sarah all meet at the movie theatre for a date night. Dean deals with some inner conflicts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long hiatus, a lot has been going on with school and what not so I haven't had time to write. But I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Comments and notes are appreciated, as always! (:

Just as the sun began to set Dean texted Cas and invited him to go to the movies with him, Sam, and his girl. Cas eagerly accepted the invitation and said he would meet them there.

They met up outside of the theatre, Dean’s nerves were high but everyone else seemed unbelievably calm. Cas greeted Dean by wrapping his arm around his waist and giving him a peck on the cheek--nothing too passionate so as to remain respectful to the other guests. He shook Sam’s hand with a firm grip and Sarah’s gently and warm. Dean followed with a nervous but loving hand shake.

The group exchanged introductions before walking up to the ticket booth to purchase tickets for the latest horror film. Sam and Dean fell behind as Cas and Sarah walked ahead chatting casually. Dean’s eyes were wide and his body was stiff.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked in a rather concerned tone.

“I’m fine, just a little nervous I guess.”

“Don’t worry so much, he seems great to me, and you’re doing just fine. What do you think of Sarah?”

Figures, Sam is the younger brother and he is the one that has to reassure Dean that everything is fine and keep him from having a panic attack in the middle of the movie theatre.

“She’s sweet, really beautiful too. You picked a good one Sammy.”

“HEY, Chatty Kathy’s, are you gonna stay out here all night or are you gonna come in and watch the movie?” Sarah interrupted and winked at Dean. Sam smiled and wrapped his arms around her as he pushed her down the dark hallway. 

Once inside the group settled in a near empty row, in fact the entire room was almost empty with the exception of one couple making out in the front row nearest to the screen.

The previews went by slowly as Dean tried to steady his breathing. Despite Sam’s encouraging words he had a hard time remaining relaxing. He kept thinking about his father and how he would react had he been there. He probably wouldn’t have been there for thirty seconds without tossing around slurs, which more than likely would have resulted in a bloody nose for him, and a broken collar bone for Dean. As the thoughts raced through his mind Dean realized that his quickening breath was becoming audible and that he was clenching the armrests so tightly that his knuckles were becoming white. He saw Cas and Sam watching him out of the corners of his eyes.

Quickly Dean got up and left the theatre without saying a word. Cas and Sam looked at each other with a concerned glance, Sam nodded hinting to Cas that he should follow. 

Dean stopped outside of the men’s bathroom and collapsed down the wall and placed his palms on his forehead. A tear began to well up in his eye before he smacked it away and clenched his eyes shut. Dean never thought of himself as one to be irrational. After all, everything seemed to be going just fine. Sam was happy and being more than accepting, Sarah and Cas were practically best friends already, so what was the problem? It was like Dean was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for his father to come storming in and kick his ass. He’d been beaten for a hell of a lot less. 

Dean jolted as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, Cas knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his cheek. 

“What’s going on, are you alright?” Cas asked.

Dean didn’t have time to respond before more tears flowed from his eyes and he tried to cover himself out of shame. Cas fell beside him and pulled Dean into his arms. 

“I just---Sam is being so good about all of this and I never imagined being accepted this way. And I know I’m not giving him a lot of credit for being such a good brother, and a good person in general...but I didn’t grow up with a lot of acceptance. I was never good enough, and I took the beatings and the brunt of the hate for the both of us.”

Cas ran his hands over Dean’s hair and hushed him quietly.

“You know, Dean. It’s okay to let good things happen to you sometimes. You don’t have to punish yourself. And I know that it’s hard to allow yourself to be happy after such a long time of being victimized, especially when that kind of abuse comes from someone who is supposed to help you, not hinder you.”

Well, that was it. Dean had known the guy for about 48 hours, and already he was falling for him. He was a stunning human being, he knew exactly what Dean needed to hear and exactly how to comfort him. Dean looked up at Cas, his eyes bloodshot and his face puffy. Cas smiled and wiped the tears off of his cheeks and kissed his eyes. They stood up together and laughed quietly. Dean pulled Cas close and pressed his face into his neck and tightened his grip around him. 

“What do you say we head back in there?”

Dean smiled and wiped his eyes one last time before grabbing onto Cas’ hand and leading him back to the theatre. As the two walked slowly through the dark hallway, Dean stopped one last time to kiss Cas. It wasn’t an aggressive or overly sexy kiss. It was a kiss to show appreciation and love. It was a thank you. Because it was dark Cas couldn’t see Dean’s expression, all he could do was feel what he was trying to say.

They guided each other back to their seats beside Sam and Sarah, who pretended not to notice that Dean had been crying so as to make him more comfortable. 

As the movie pressed on, blood and guts spewed across the screen. Sam yelped and grabbed Sarah’s arm at each jump scare. Sarah and the boys laughed every time, making the movie more hilarious than terrifying. All of Dean’s fears were pushed to the back of his mind. This was it, these people were becoming his family.


	6. At the end of the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get home from the movie, and shower before bed. This chapter is kind of goofy as hell but I thought it was cute.

Cas continuously locked and unlocked his fingers from Dean’s throughout the duration of the movie. Finally at ease, Dean raised the armrest from between them and leaned into Cas. Dean heard a light hum rise from Cas’ chest, his heart began to beat faster.

When the movie came to a close and the lights turned back on, Dean squinted his eyes and felt almost as if he had just woke from a dream. The couples exited the theatre hand in hand. On the sidewalk Sam and Cas spoke about the details of the movie while Sarah and Dean spoke briefly.

“I know you guys are only going to be here for a short time, but I thought maybe we could all have a barbeque or something, if you have any interest in that?” Sarah inquired.

“Oh absolutely. I’d never turn down a meal, and I’ve been looking forward to spending time with you ever since Sam first mentioned you.” Dean offered a large and sincere smile. He meant it, Sam deserved a great girl and within moments of meeting her he could tell that Sarah was exactly that. 

“Don’t be too eager. I’ll be honest with you, I can be a real pain in the ass, and a bit of a ball buster.” Sarah smiled and swung at Dean’s shoulder with a surprising amount of force. She was a pretty small girl, the idea of her and Sam together was pretty funny to Dean. And if their size differences weren’t funny enough, she seemed so tough and wild in comparison to Sam. . They balanced each other out, kind of how Cas seemed to balance out Dean. They were good for each other. 

“Trust me you aren’t the only one who likes to bust Sam’s chops. Everyone kind of gets a kick out of it. And as long as you like pie and Zeppelin, I’m sure you and I will get along just fine.” He laughed.

“Funny you should mention it, I happen to make a mean apple pie and I’ve always had the biggest crush on Jimmy Page.” She winked at Dean before tugging on Sam’s shirt, hinting that she was ready to leave.

“It was nice to meet you both, and maybe tomorrow at four or five we can get started on that barbeque. I’ll make a pie just for you, Dean.” Sarah said.

The couples said their goodbyes before parting, Sam and Sarah walking in one direction and Dean and Cas in the other. 

Dean was quiet for the first few minutes of the walk, he looked down at the sidewalk and smiled to himself. Cas squinted his eyes suspiciously and nudged Dean with his elbow.

“What’s that look for?” Cas chuckled.

“Nothing...I’m just...happy. It all went way beyond what I expected. Sam seemed to really like you, and Sarah was terrific, which I am thankful for. The last thing he needs is to be getting hung up on some major bitch. I think she’s good for him. She wants to hang out with us again sometime soon.” Dean said.

“When? Aren’t you leaving in a few days?” 

“Yeah that’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Something kind of came up.” Dean smiled and turned to look at Cas. Cas moved closer to Dean, nearly an inch away from his face, his gaze drifting from his lips to his eyes and back again.

“Oh yeah? What came up exactly?” Cas’ fingers ran against the back of Dean’s hand before grabbing hold.

“You did.” Dean said before closing his eyes and pressing his lips against Cas’. 

After a moment, Cas pulled away slightly, eyes still closed. He rested his forehead against Dean’s and whispered to him.

“How long will you be staying then?” His eyes opened and his crystal like irises flashed at Dean. Dean lifted Cas’ chin and kissed him quickly before taking both of Cas’ hands in his.

“Indefinitely. Sam and I both have reasons to stay. We’d be stupid to let those reasons get away from us.” 

Cas smiled before continuing to pull Dean down the darkening street back to his apartment. 

 

Once they walked through the front door, Cas immediately began removing the layers of clothing that Dean had on. 

“We should take a shower.” Cas tried as hard as he could to make that sound serious and not completely sexual, but the attempt was pointless as Dean dragged Cas to the bathroom.

Cas turned on the hot water in the shower and began to undress. The bathroom was clean, white tile, white everything, all except for the framed watercolor painting of an angel on the wall. The corner of the painting had a small signature that looked like it had been written by a small child. Dean could barely make out a “C”.

Cas noticed Dean inquisitive gaze at the piece on the wall, “I did that. I used to paint a lot, but I haven’t done anything new in a while. I guess I became more focused on work.”

Dean realized there was still a lot that he didn’t know about Cas--but there would be plenty of time for him to figure it all out.

“Maybe one day you could paint me like one of your french girls.” Dean joked, Cas tilted his head confused by the reference.

Dean’s eyes widened, ‘That’s from Titanic. You’ve never seen Titanic?” 

Cas shrugged his shoulders and smiled, “I never got around to it, okay? We can watch it together, we’ll make a nice date out of it.”

Cas pulled Dean into the shower, as the hot water fell over his head he almost felt like he was being baptized. He closed his eyes and let the water run over him for a moment before Cas lifted his chin and kissed him playfully all over his face. Dean laughed and pressed his lips against Cas’ collar bones and kissed up his neck until he reached his lips.

Cas grabbed the bottle of shampoo from the shelf in the shower and squeezed a few small drops into his hand and a few into Dean’s. They washed each other’s hair and played around gratuitously while doing so. Dean pulled the shower head off of its holder and sprayed Cas directly in the face. Cas made gurgling noises as his mouth filled with soapy water, he spit it out almost immediately--hitting Dean in the face, causing an even bigger surge of laughter.

Dean allowed himself to slip down the wall of the shower as he wiped the soap out of his eyes. He looked up at Cas who had a huge grin on his face. He sat down beside Dean, amazingly there was enough room for the both of them. Cas covered Dean and himself in an ocean scented body wash and massaged it gently into Dean’s skin. Cas turned his back to Dean and leaned back, lying between his legs and resting his head against Dean’s chest. Dean put one hand on Cas’ stomach and ran the other one through his wet hair, while planting kisses on his head.

“Thank you for staying.” Cas said, tilting his head upward to look Dean in the eyes.

“Thank you for letting me.”

 

They washed the rest of the soap from their bodies and stepped out onto the soft placement rug outside of the shower. Cas pulled a towel from the cupboard and tossed it onto Dean’s head and began rubbing vigorously. Dean pulled the towel off of his head and scowled as he realized his hair was sticking out in every direction. He smiled and threw the towel over Cas’ head, doing the exact same thing to him. Cas laughed and made a moot attempt at pushing Dean away. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, trapping him inside of the towel.

Dean guided Cas, blinded, down the hallway to his bedroom. At the foot of the bed, Dean pulled the towel from Cas’ head and kissed him. Even in the dark, Cas and Dean’s eyes seemed to glow, lighting the room around them. They laid down and pulled the sheets over their heads. Dean rolled over and allowed Cas to spoon him and kiss the back of his neck.

“Sweet dreams.” Cas whispered before closing his eyes.


	7. Sleepover and The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean spend the day together

For a while Dean didn’t fall asleep. He laid in the cotton sheets quietly, listening to the sounds in the room: Cas’ breathing, the occasional slight whimper as he dreamt. He watched lights and shadows dance across the ceiling as cars outside drove by. 

For the longest time Cas didn’t let go of Dean. Occasionally his grip around his body would tighten and then release, but he never rolled away, his lips remained pressed softly against Dean’s back. 

Dean had never felt so whole with anyone in his entire life. Every woman he had been in bed with--well it was nice but it never felt so perfect. First of all he never let a woman spoon him, and he loved the feeling of having someone pressed up behind him. Whenever he was with a woman it was sexually satisfying for sure, but it felt like there was this inescapable void that wasn’t being filled by being with them. He felt safe and he felt loved. The fact that Cas didn’t let go for almost the entirety of the night only confirmed Dean’s feelings.

Dean thought about the lyrics to Don’t Want To Miss a Thing by Aerosmith, and how he’d never related to any song more than he did to that one in this moment. He didn’t want to forget what it felt like to be so close to someone physically and emotionally. Crazy he thought to himself, how you could literally be inside of someone and still be so far away from them. He never had something like this before and he wasn’t completely sure that he would have it with anyone else. But the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he would be able to look into Cas’ eyes again, so he closed his and allowed himself to be enveloped by Cas’ arms and the surrounding darkness.

It seemed like his eyes were closed for a mere second. He felt light kisses being planted on his freckled shoulder, and a finger tracing shapes on his chest. Without opening his eyes Dean rolled over, groaning, and pressed his face into Cas’ bare chest. Cas left and kissed Dean on the forehead.

“Do you have any plans for the day?” Dean mumbled

“None whatsoever. Do you?”

“I do actually. I plan to stay in bed with you all day.” Dean smiled and stroked Cas’ nose with his index finger.

Cas lifted Dean’s hand into the air and pressed their fingers together. Dean’s hand was just a little bit bigger than his. Cas locked his fingers with Deans and pulled his hand close to his mouth and kissed it gently.

For a long time Dean and Cas laid in each other’s arms analyzing their bodies. Cas admired the various scars and markings on Dean’s body, caressing and kissing each one. They talked about the places that Dean and Sam had visited so far on their trip and the people they met. 

He told Cas about one night in particular as they were passing through Columbus, Ohio. They stopped at a real dive of a bar for a drink and something to eat. There they met a sweet old couple that was there having dinner. Their names were Riley and Amelia and they said that they’d been coming there for dinner every Thursday night since the bar opened. The bar was once full of life and tons of different and interesting people would come through, and people watching was one of their favorite pass times. But over the years the bar received less and less attention and slowly began to fall apart. 

But the bar was their place, it had history for them and they would stick with it until the end. Dean saw the way they looked at each other and the way they laughed and the chemistry they had with the bar owner. Dean wanted that, to appreciate something so much and to have a routine. Something to do every week with the love of his life, and to be a regular somewhere.

“You know where you can be a regular? Here. If that’s what you wanted...I’d definitely want that..” Cas said.

Dean didn’t know what to say, he smiled and blushed quite a bit. Nobody ever asked him to stick around. He was still surprised that Cas wanted him there for as long as he did. 

When Dean didn’t respond immediately, Cas began to panic.

“Or uh...you know...if that isn’t something you’re into I completely understand.” Cas said.

Dean lifted his head in shock and slapped Cas on the arm.

“Of course I’d like to stay here with you. For Chrissakes I’m staying in town because of you. There’s no other place I’d rather be.”

Cas pushed Dean onto his back and rolled on top of him. He kissed him passionately before resting his chin on Dean’s chest and gazing into his eyes. Dean brushed Cas’ hair back and ran his hands over Cas’ shoulders. Cas’ eyes and hands began to wander as he gradually slid down underneath the sheets. He kissed Dean’s naked thighs and slowly moved in between them, finding Dean hard and aching with need.

Dean bit his lip as Cas swirled his tongue around Dean’s dick. He worked his hand up and down as Dean gripped helplessly as the sheets. He whimpered as Cas displayed some rather impressive tricks with his tongue. 

“Oh my god, oh my--Cas!” 

Dean’s legs began shaking, and he clenched his eyes shut and bit down even harder on his lip as he came. Cas continued rubbing Dean as he poked his head out from beneath the sheets.

“Hey, Cas. I’d like to try something a little different. I was thinking maybe you could top this time...I’ve never bottomed and I think I’d like to try…” Dean said nervously.

“Only if you’re sure, Dean” 

Dean responded with a nod and Cas leaned over to grab the bottle of lube and a condom from the bedside table.

“Let me know if you’re ever uncomfortable or want me to stop.” Cas said before kissing Dean on the forehead.

Cas squeezed a few drops of lube onto his fingers and spread Dean’s legs. He rubbed Dean for a few minutes, just to get him comfortable with the new sensations, and then he pushed one finger inside. Dean’s body tensed for a moment at the strange new feeling, and relaxed as Cas used his other hand to rub his leg gently.

“Are you alright?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded, and began breathing heavily. Cas slowly pushed a second finger inside and worked them together and apart, stretching Dean out. Dean began biting his lips again, and with each breath he let out a small gasp, gradually getting louder.

Once Cas felt there was room for a bit more, he pushed the third finger in as slowly as possible. Dean’s mouth fell open and he grabbed Cas’ arm as he pushed through the burn. Cas squeezed more lube over the opening and eased his finger the rest of the way in. Dean winced for a moment before trying to relax again. 

Cas and Dean didn’t break eye contact. When they both felt Dean was ready, Cas pulled his fingers out tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth and rolled it down over himself. Just to be safe he squeezed more lube onto himself and pressed his fingers back inside of Dean to ensure that he was prepped enough.

Dean offered a half smile and a nod to tip of Cas that it was okay to start. Dean clenched his jaw as Cas pushed inside, it burned and ached at first before giving way to a pleasurable feeling. Dean lifted his arms and gripped Cas’ shoulders as he thrusted slowly. Dean began digging his nails into Cas’ skin as he quickened his pace. Dean was in pain of course, but he loved it at the same time and he knew it could only get better from here. 

Cas slowed down and signaled Dean to roll onto his hands and knees. Cas continued thrusting and pressed his lips onto Dean’s back softly. After a while the stinging started to subside and all he felt was his legs shaking beneath him and Cas pressing against all of his sensitive nerves. 

Dean tilted his head back while Cas leaned forward to kiss him as they came together. They both let out screams of pleasure before collapsing onto each other. Dean had never had an orgasm so strong in his life, it was amazing, absolute ecstasy. And even better, it was with someone that he just might be in love with.

“That was...absolutely amazing. You were terrific.” Cas said, kissing the back of Dean’s neck.

“So were you, in fact you’re probably going to have to carry me everywhere for the next few days because there is no way I’ll be able to walk.” They laughed together as they attempted to catch their breath. 

For a majority of the day Cas held Dean in his arms before they retired to the living room to watch Titanic--all while remaining naked. They made love again as the sex scene between Rose and Jack played on the tv. They fell asleep on the couch just as the movie ended, Cas lying on top of Dean with his head on his chest.

When Dean opened his eyes it was still dark outside, Cas had sunken into the couch beside him. Dean stood up, his entire body was on fire. His legs felt like they were going to break in half and his back was screaming. He slid his arms beneath Cas and hoisted him into the air. Slowly, and not without a pained tear in his eye, Dean carried Cas into the bedroom and laid him down carefully.

Before lying down to sleep himself, Dean checked his texts. He had one from Sam:

Hey, Sarah wants to start the bbq around 1, don’t be too late, please?

Ugh, they’d probably be wondering why Dean was limping around. ‘Oh I was just helping Cas move some furniture around and I messed up my back’, Dean laughed to himself. He set his phone on the bed side table and snuggled up to Cas’ back. Half asleep Cas grabbed Dean’s arm aggressively and wrapped it around him, he kissed his hand and went back to sleep. Dean smiled and closed his eyes, he felt so warm inside.. Here he was forming bruises on his hips from where Cas was squeezing him, with a cramp in his ass the size of Texas and he couldn’t be happier. He’d rather that the pain he was feeling come from love than hate. He was sure of it at this point, they weren’t together long, but Dean was in love with Cas. Head over heels. The question was, did Cas feel the same way?


End file.
